7 Valuable Ways That Taught Me To Love In A World Of Hate.

When you live in a world full of hate, I couldn’t help but wonder, how does one still love others yet themselves!

Here are the top 7 valuable ways that taught me to still love no matter what.

1. My children, as different as each one of them is, have taught me to love through patience. And even though, as a single parent it was difficult but my kids are the best part of my life. They’ve taught me that I can overcome anything that life brings. And no matter how different we can be, everyone deserves to be loved.
2. The good and the bad intimate relationships. I haven’t had too many, but I don’t regret neither because each one taught me a lot of life lessons.
3. My “abuelos” are to me my first love. They were my life and my all. I couldn’t go a day without them. And when they passed, my world was forever turned. I learned true love through their eyes and their heart.
4. I have many acquaintances but very few friends. The few that I do have are of high quality. I can always go to them for anything even for a listening ear and vice versa.
5. My “cultura” has shown me all about family, friends and love. Accepted by everyone because we are one. And when we sit to break bread just know you become “familia” too.
6. My LUNA, she’s my 4-legged companion and the most cutest Sheltie ever. I always get a warm welcome when I get home from a long day of work. I’ve only had her for almost a year and she has helped me overcome a lot of moments full of anxiety.
7. Last but not least, I couldn’t even breathe if it weren’t for my belief in God. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for his never-ending, unconditional love that surpasses anything you can ever imagine. And to think, that same love is extended to you too because… YOU MATTER!

5 Ways to Celebrate Self-Love!

Ahhhh, February, the month of love. Where one spends extra on flowers, chocolates and balloons to show the other just how much they love them!

But what happens when you don’t have a significant other? One can choose to have a one-man pity party or choose to celebrate SELF-LOVE.

Here are 5 ways to break the barriers and celebrate your SELF:

1. Change your mindset. Don’t play the victim role of single-hood. Though being single may feel like a loss but it can be a gain. Instead, celebrate being single by changing your mindset. Preparing yourself, your thoughts, working on YOU to become a better YOU each day.
2. Speak life and affirm. Don’t listen to negativity or anything/one that keeps you from moving forward. Wake up each day speaking positive affirmations to help you stay focused.
3. Watch your environment. In my culture there’s a saying; tell me who you hang with and I’ll tell you who you are. I never understood it until I became grown. Surround yourself with those that challenge you to be better.
4. Check yourself. That’s right. You need to stop and check yourself. When you look in that mirror daily, ask yourself are you who you want to see or are you becoming someone you know you’re not! Depending on the answer, act accordingly.
5. Cut off or keep. If you haven’t heard of the Kondo mission yet then you’ve been lost. The kondo mission is to organize and only keep what brings you joy. That goes for every relationship as well; family, friends, co workers, church folk, etc.. keep only those that bring you joy.

Cheers to self-love because you matter. ♡

4 Steps To Self Care

I’ve recently been doing a lot of research on self-care. You know, things to do to take care of self, places to go, books to read, stuff like that. And you might be thinking, “why research”? Well, half of my life I’ve been taking care of others. Now as I’m embarking on the “empty nest” stage, it’s been like learning a whole new lifestyle.

Through researching, I came upon this great article on the Self Care Plan by the Cubicle Chick. [It’s printable too] It covers four vital areas in which we should be caring for ourselves and taking care of our needs.

The following areas are:

1. Mental
2. Physical
3. Emotional
4. Spiritual

Read more here and I hope you’re taking great care of you because… YOU MATTER ♡

How To Decide When To Slow Down!

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I hit the panic button! I’ve never experienced this before in my life but it happened. An anxiety attack!

I was just coming out of a procedure when the doctor immediately rushed in to tell me that they couldn’t complete the procedure because I had stopped breathing. All I wanted was a ginger ale to soothe my throat, I wasn’t ready for any bad news. But I couldn’t help thinking about the short dream I had while I was “under” during the procedure. See, I don’t have many dreams, I have sleep apnea. Hence, the reason for the procedure. But when I do dream, it’s usually God showing me something.

The dream felt like a flash show but it was a picture of my three boys entering the Marines all in one year. Then and there is when the panic attack started. I felt my throat closing in and I couldn’t breathe. I’ve never felt so nervous or scared but it all came together at that moment. I held it in for so long because I was trying to be tough for my family until now. All the nurses around me kept telling me, “just take deep breaths” but it didn’t seem to work. Then I looked over to my friend, one of my greatest best of friends, who happened to take me to this procedure and she had this calm aura about her and silently she murmured, “just breathe”. I took another last deep breath and it was over. It was the most vulnerable moment in my life.

Since that day, I have learned to slow down for my mental health, my physical being, and my spiritual life. We get consumed with “busy” in our lives and forget to breathe. Now, I’m never in a hurry for anything and I think before I speak. I also don’t worry as much about life. Have a cup of tea and just relax.

My new motto is:

“Your God is bigger than your problem”

Are You Ready For No? You Should Be!

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I ignored all of the signs in my last relationship. But I wouldn’t say it was a waste of ten years. There is a lesson in every mistake as well.

But this one was a difficult one because I can honestly say, and many people that knew us, know that I put in a lot of myself into this marriage to try to make it work. I lost myself totally in a facade that was meant for the outer world and the “church” to see. I smiled through it all even when I didn’t want to. But inside was a lost self screaming for someone to see what I was seeing and feel what I was feeling. I felt so out of place. Like I didn’t even belong. No one could tell we had issues and no one even thought of confronting me. What’s funny to me is that once the marriage was over, everyone then had a say. A little too late but all is well. I prayed and prayed to God to help me make this work. I thought all this time I was the problem and it was my fault. To me “divorce is not an option” but unfortunately, some circumstances differ. After the divorce, I knew immediately. And when I left and felt a peace that surpassed anything I could ever understand, I knew that it was never meant to be.

What I learned is that I need not rush into anything and not to invest so much in a person that will not invest as well. I also learned never to lower my standards just because of loneliness. I’m embracing my singlehood and loving it. Until the right one steps up, I will continue to pray, slay and wait.

Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships. Stephen Covey